Authenticity and Integrity

There is a move these days towards authentic living. That means being vulnerable enough to tell intimate details of your life.

There is something in Christian Ministry and Business that makes an authentic person more attractive to others. Sharing one's faults, troubles, feelings that others can relate to makes one seem more "human" and therefore trustworthy. Or it makes you feel like you can be their friend because they, in turn, should be able to understand you.

People often would rather do business and form relationships with those that are real, those they've made a connection with. We all like to hear a bit about the personal life of those we're dealing with.

BUT...showing authenticity should have boundaries and guidelines too. People that hear about your struggles are unable to put them into true perspective if they don't know the backdrop from which they've sprung. They are hearing your side of the story without knowing other sides.

Sharing some details can actually make others question your ability or trustworthiness. Sharing details can hurt or discredit those you mention or who are connected to your life.

So what does this mean? Am I suggesting we don't become authentic? No. I'm suggesting we do so with wisdom.

• Share your story when it will help someone else in moving forward with their life.
• Don't share your story if it has no relevance to your listener or mandate or unless you're sharing it with a hired life coach or a good friend and doing so provides the therapy you need.
• Think about who you are discrediting while telling your story, and ask if that is appropriate or will be damaging.
• Choose correct contexts to share your stories:

Example: Telling someone about your divorce recovery may be helpful in trying to encourage someone else going through one, but not important while trying to sell a television.

Telling someone you were abused and how you worked through it may be important if you are promoting a book on abuse, but not relevant while applying for a job.

In all situations use discernment and edit your words.